Word Association...

Let's play a game, shall we? It's called word association. Human beings, including myself, attach certain words or sights or smells or whatever to other certain experiences. It's part of the law of cuase and effect.

Church meeting: Negative conotation. I think of people leaving. At the slightest sign of a church conflict, yes, Christians are human too, we have conflict, I get quesy in the stomach. I think of people leaving and never coming back. And then meeting new people and having to learn to trust all over again....

Marijuana smell: Yes, I do know what it smells like. Not because I smoke it, I have never done so. But when the whole sophomore hallway smells like marijuana and body spray...one learns the scent. The smell makes me retch. I attach it to bad feelings...bars...and stinky kids who don't seem to have anything behind their eyes.

Tower: I think of summer and LBBBC. It reminds me of flashlights and shoes and humid nights and the way Tara laughs. Happy memories

Democrat: Mike. I doubt he was as hardcore democrat as he claimed..but he was more vocal that most. The word reminds me of a cold classroom and falling asleep on my textbook and not knowing how to say what my head is picturing so clearly.

This concludes tonight's round of Word Association. Anyone out there in blogger land care to play a round? Post...then link it to me.

*muwah* Em

Hockey Town, MN

Congratulations to me. I went to my very first hockey game last night. I felt so Roseau-ish being there. We played our arch rival the Warroad Warriors. We were defeated. 3-1. But I really think I finally understand the appeal of this whole hockey business.

It's not a matter of great skill or talent or watching promising young professional hopefuls. It's a matter of tradition. In this great big changing world of ours, in the midst of golbal conflict, kids killing eachother and cancer destroying lives, hockey, for Roseau, is something that remains steadfast as the rising of the son. It's something that everyone can take part in. There are the little babies wrapped up in snowsuits sleeping in their mother's arms. There are the elementary schoolers having Boy Vs. Girl tagging wars in the bleachers. The Little boys out on the ice moving the net for the zamboni sweep, thinking about the day when they will play out on the ice. The Jr. Highers who are prepping for their future as the glorious players. The band still plays the same songs they have played for years. The Varsity players skating unto the ice to the cheers of the crowd. Proud parents sit in the bleachers thinking about how all those years of practice and endless sharpening of skates have finally paid off. The Grandma's and Grandpa's who reminse about their times on the ice and dream of even more state championships. Everyone put on their Roseau apparel and screams at the top of their lungs. It's about a rivalship between two towns that is as strong today as it was 50 years ago.
It's not about the game or the outcome. It's about something that has stayed the same from generation to generation. Maybe I like this whole Hockey things. Maybe my kids will play it someday. And maybe I'll watch my son make that game winning goal. Maybe the Mighty Rams are just that, not because they win games but because they have kept this tradition alive for generations.
-Em

And the beat goes on...

Sorry to all my loyal fans for not posting sooner. Everything has been so crazy. I will try and update you on life as it as I type.

Our One Act play has officially come to a close. It was a sad moment. I will never be in another one act play. And we were totally screwed over. We lost to a hilarious comedy about the concept of wating and a poorly acted play about incest. I'm bitter about the later of the two. I guess that's the way life goes sometimes. For every "first" there will be a "last."

Gossip seems to becoming a bigger and bigger problem in my circle. I afear all this gossip will come to head shortly. As I type, a note in my pocket feels like it is burning. All the words of lies not spoken yet believed. I just wish to fix the situation. I may make an attempt. Cross your fingers that things don't explode in my face.

My sister is the in the midst of adolescent affection and anguish. And I'd like to say that I, playing the wise older sister role, have given her sound words as to how to sort out said emotions. But I could not. I am in the midst of my own confusion. Attraction is such an odd thing. The heart want what the heart wants. My logic seems to have taken a vacation...or perhaps an aphrodisiac. haha. I find myself thinking of this fellow at odd times. Only to force myself to kill the wandering thoughts in hopes of erecting a wall high enough to keep my messy feelings from landing on this innocent guy. Splat.

I'm feeling poetic. Hamlet overdose. Test on act one.

-Em

Reality.

I really dislike returning to my life here in Roseau. I went to Trout Lake this weekend and had a great time. But all the things I had sorted out in my mind, all the problems I had hypothetically solved, everything that made more sense...no longer does. I forget how things are in my life. And I still have to deal with things that I did before the weekend. It all seemed so clear in the quiet of the Trout Lake, away from the hustle and bustle, with friends and a constant source of spiritual food. The problems are still as looming as ever...everything has gotten confusing again. I need...an intervention.

-Em

In the library...

I'm sitting in the library at school. I'm not really doing much of anything right now. It's was the guy's day to sing in Choir and so, I ended up here. Today has been a fairly good day. I leave for Trout Lake Camp for the weekend in T-minus 3 hours and 5 minutes. Joy. I'm actually slightly excited, I'm trying to get more and more excited but...I don't know. I've felt just blah lately. I what things to be shaken up a bit, for excitement to course throught my veins. But I fall into the seemingly enternal-ness of January. Maybe I need more sunlight, medicals journals say that sun is good for you. Hopefully, I can spend some time outdoors this weekend. Basking in the the sun...and the cold.
Speaking of cold...it's freaking cold out. It was -45 below zero when I left for the school this morning. I reached for my car door handle without my glove on. My hand was burning for 15 minutes after. I intend to spend lots of time in my cabin this weekend. But the bell is going to ring shortly...later brave new world.


Something big just has to happen...Em

All I want is your beautiful soul

Why hullo there Olivia. Olivia. I just can't get used to this blog having name. It's like it's my alter-ego or something. Does it have a birthday? Should I buy it clothes?

I've been so busy. I feel like everything has attacked me at once. Speech. One Act. Weekend away. End of quarter. Rumors. Speaking of rumors...I'm sick of it! People keep talking about me behind my back. And if certain people would take the time to get to know me rather than just assuming stuff these stupid things wouldn't happen. Ahhhh! I'm really ticked off right now, sorry.

Anyhow, I've had a mostly enjoyable past couple of days. One Act practice was actually fun the past couple of days. Master Ryan came and led us through a characterization exercise. But this one was actually useful...not that I didn't find "dirty word association" an exciting experience. :P He played some songs and asked us to think of those experiences that we thought of when we heard those songs. It stuck me as a very Ryan thing to do. Music and acting. His great passions. And he made our ending un-crappified. Not to mention I'm now addicted to "Beautiful Soul". I've listened to that song like 15 times. Yes, you can file me in the lame stack.

I'm heading out to Trout Lake this weekend for a retreat. I'm trying really hard to be excited. But I'm having some "issues" with certain people who are attending. I hope my temper doesn't get the best of me. At least Lyssalily is going. Everything is fun with her.

My dearest Leah Lou left for college on Sunday. I'm excited for her. And I miss her already. I bet she's having a great time though. Making all kinds of new friends and meeting fabulous guys! Haha. I really want to go visit her soon. And sleep. I really wanna go sleep.

-Em

Olivia

FYI: Apparently, according to Ryan and Cierra my blog has officially been christened Olivia.


Emily

Vess Cola: The Poor Canadian's Drink.

So me and my mass comm partner shot the bulk of our commercial yesterday. It was much fun. Tyler did an awesome job as our actor. He spewed that salt like nobody's business. It was so funny.
Life has been pretty good. I'm saddened that my college friends are leaving soon. Tyler and Eric and Jeremy all left today. Leah leaves tommorow. Ryan leaves in a week or so. Based on this information...Ryan is clearly the only one who cares about me. ;)

I've seemed to have worked myself into a bit of a situation. There was poor communication between me and my play director and me and my youth director as to the timing of a retreat. Both are scheduled for the same time...and I think both parties blame me for the screw up. It's nobodies fault really, but it doesn't change the situation. My youth director won't back down on his timing..so hopefully my director will. Or I'm in trouble. I'm sure there is a comprimise to the issue. There always is. Others are more upset about this situation than I. One lady whose kids are invovled in this timing conflict hugged me in church today and assured me "it was gonna be okay." I wasn't entirely sure what she was talking about...I eventually figured it out. To be completely honest, I don't care that much. I just don't like it when people are upset at me or others. This retreat will be miserable if everyone is upset. I've always considered myslef rather adept at recogizing and knowing what people are really thinking. That's probably because people tell me what they're feeling. I wish I could inform certain people about what the other party is thinking. But nobody ever asks me. So I shall remain silent..and watch.

Memily

Ram Roadkill....

So the Roseau Rams lost 7-2 to the Warroad Warriors in hockey. Not that I'm shocked. Warriors are really good this year and the Rams are...not. I tried to attribuate it to the fact that they had "home rink" advantage...the game was in Warroad. But as a friend from Warroad reminded me they had trumped us on the ice last year 21-1. But I have hope, or at least I pretend to. We play them again in a couple of weeks and we shall rise to the challenge. P.S. Drama buddies...if we lose to Warroad on the 22nd I will curl up and die.

Gotta go, Sleepy time, Em

Paralell Universe...It's been a wierd day.

I today I was back in the the beloved halls of RHS. I nearly retched as I entered the door. Shallowness has a tendency to make me ill. All the girls were wearing the new clothes they recieved for Christmas. Honestly, I ask you, what parent in their right mind buys these things for their kids!? Not only are half of these clothes way against school dress-code but it's put them at a very high risk for hypothermia! January is not tanktop season!

Classes were somewhat mundane. We began working on our commercial project for Mass. Comm. My partner and I are doing a commercial for Vess brand root beer. No sodium is our big selling point. haha. English was our teacher telling us the same things over and over about how cite our sources for the reasearch project. Then we watched some more of Dead Poets Society. It's probably the first time I have ever enjoyed a movie shown in English class. Choir we began prepping songs for our choir tour to Duluth. I really don't look forward to it. Just because I have to spend time with a lot of people I can't stand for 3 days. And in Creative Writing I had to read the short story I wrote. I forgot over break how Hokey my writing was. I was ashamed to read it aloud. *mortifaction*

I went to work on my paper after school, and just as I was about to save all my new work the computer just went black. For no apparent reason. So I lost all my new work, of course.
I came home to find my little sister doing dishes and my brother spraying everything with febreeze. When I questioned my sister as to what was going on she responded "Your brother is a slave drving." Suddenly, he was my brother. I'm scared to touch stuff..it all looks so clean. haha, but all in all life has been purdy excellent.

We had youth group last night and there were just four of us there...it reminded me of the ol' days. My youth pastor was especially sarcastic last night...it was kinda fun actually. It gave me a just cause to use my stash of one-liners. We played this board game that involved building cities and claiming stuff. I was once again reminded of the stark difference between males and females. We girls made plans of what we would do, gave a small smile if we made a good move, and emitted a small sigh if things took a turn for our worse. The guys on the other hand seemed convinced that the game really garenteed them global domination. They roared in raw male power if the move was in their favor and then generally shouted a phyiscal threat in the about their impending reign as the winner. And, if their unworthy opponent happened to block one of their moves they wailed in pain as though they were a wounded animal who was fighting for their dying breath. This is why co-ed board games...just don't work well.

Lata-Em

Whoa, that's a lot of snow...Hey! That ryhmed!

So we got about 8 inches of the white stuff...However, when the plow comes by the snow becomes about 4 feet high in the end of my driveway. :P Not that I'm complaining, I love the snow. It 's finally begun to look like winter here.

My Christmas break officially ends tomorrow. It's back to the grind of high school. Roseau had the shortest break ever on record...For once in my life I say this...I wish I lived in Warroad. There's sooo much to do one I get back. I have a 400 point project due, although our goofy teacher will not as to when exactly it is due. We begin working on a commercial for Mass. Comm. luckily my partner and I have come up with some ideas. And it's back to one act practices again. At this point, I don't even care about winning anymore, I just want to stave off embarassment. Ryan and Leah should come to practice and help out some more....(I know you guys read this...*hint hint*) So I'm pretty busy.

Adulthood looms closer every passing day. This is will be my last summer as a "kid". It's terrifying, yet exciting. All the things I can now do...but all the things I must do. I guess freedom has it's price.

Forgive my randomness, Em

Looking back...pressing forward

It's crazy how fast the year of 2004 had past me by. It was a good year. It was full of challenges, tears, joy, and, of course, new people. Now, for those of you who know me only "casually" probably don't know of my irrational fear of meeting new people...It terrifies me. Or it used to anyway. But not anymore. I realized this summer that meeting new people isn't such a horrible thing...in fact it's a fabulous thing! If I had been my usual anti-social self I never would've met some of the most awesome people I know. Ali, Becky, Matt, Michelle, Lindsay, Lauren, Tara, Nowell, James, Joey, Jake Adam, Andrew, and Megan! God is a good God. And he loves people! And I love how he provides people for just the right moment to bring you through and fill you with joy. Don't get my wrong, I adore my "old friends"...Eric, Ty, Chris, Lyssa, Leah Lou, Anna, Ry. But meeting the new and melding with the old is about what the New Year is about.

So 2005, what do you got? What challenges and triumphs do you hold? And who will I meet this year?...Bring it on 2005. My Jesus has got my back....

Lovin' it Lovin' it!- Em