Saying Goodbye...

The college countdown is officially now at 13 short days. Wow. My pre-freshman jitters keep me awake at night. I'm doing my best not to worry, but my history as the world's biggest worrywort still catches up with me at times. My emotions are a mixture of crazy excitement, like the adrenaline you get before going on stage on opening night, and insane fear, like that sickening dropping feeling in the pit of your stomach when you are falling from an unsafe height.

I've been saying goodbye to a lot of people in last couple weeks. My brother hugged me goodbye last week as he prepared to return to college and his apartment and told me to have fun at school and "if I ever need protection or anything...you know where to find me." I certainly do. I said good luck and goodbye to Eric and Michelle as they bravely return to their sophmore year at Northwestern. And Scot left for PCC yesterday. We exchanged hugs and "good lucks" in church. My youth pastor, his wife, and darling daughter had their last sunday at my church. They're off to Steinback to start a new job at a new church. I can't believe how many people are leaving, and how much everything is changing.

I went to see my grandparents this weekend. They offered me sage wisdom about college...in between my Grandpa's World War II stories. Grandma hugged me, and warned me to "lock my doors at night, and make sure you dress warm when it get's cold." My grandpa shook my hand and said " Don't show them how smart you are right away, you've gotta sneak up on those professors. And make an impression on those folks." I assured him that I would.

"There are far better things ahead than any we leave behind."- C.S. Lewis

The great adventure...

Hey All, I have the house to myself this evening. Just me and my fab new laptop computer so I thought I'd share the thoughts on my mind. There hasn't really been much going on in my life lately, I've been getting ready to head off to college. My room is an explosion of office supplies, towels, and suitcases.. I believe I've gotten everything I need, so I now I must play the waiting game. I get more and more excited as the day approaches, but I'm also scared out of my wits. I try not to think about all the things that could go wrong. All the things that I may not b able to handle...but my brain is trouble. I have a feeling that this year will be the most terrifying, frightening, amazing, wonderful year of my life.

I think of the apostle Peter, he knew where Jesus was asking him to go, and he knew full well everything that he was leaving behind. But he went, trusting that God would take care of him. I know that God is calling me to Providence..but I'm scared. Jumping in with both feet is the only option. This is my life now, as my mom told me on my 18th. birthday I no longer have to answer to her, I answer to God directly. I don't want to answer God by saying, "Sorry Lord, I'm scared. I'm going to stay in Roseau in my comfort zone, I don't care if I know what you want from me. I too scared.

God took Peter on one of the greatest adventures in history. He lead him some of the most terrifying and wonderful experiences ever. And I trust that the same God who did that who did that for Peter has some amazing plans for me. Let the adventure begin...

-Em

Wish You Were Here.

I miss you. I find it strange that I could miss someone so much when I have never met them. I really wish I could see you, meet you, and fall in love with you. It's been a long summer, watching friends get married, seeing Scott with his girlfriend, and even Cierra has a boyfriend now. I feel rather alone at times. I was out looking at the stars the other night, and I wished you were there looking at God's amazing creation with me. I wonder what you are doing right now, what you look like, and if you ever think of me. I worked at camp this summer with some really great brothers in Christ, I think of how blessed their future wives are going to be. And how it's going to take a pretty special girl to win their heart.
I hope I turn your heart, and not your head. I hope that God will bring you into my life soon. I see so many of my friends falling in love with men who don't love Christ. It breaks my heart to see that, but I know that You love Christ. I want you to love Him more than you love me. And I mean that, I know that anyone who can love and obey an almighty God that he can't even see will encourage me to love Him all the more. So, wherever you are tonight, I want you to know I miss you and I pray for you. And I look forward to the day that I see your smile. I wish you were here.

Love in Christ, Emily

My Summer. Awful...Wonderful

So my summer is coming to a close. I have finished all my ministry work for the summer. I move into my dorm in a mere 28 days. In many ways this has been the best summer of my life.
I had the crappiest spring of my life. Everything in my life went wrong. I would sleep for hours and hours because I d being awake, because when I was awake I thought about all this painful stuff. And then summer came. I really encoutered God this summer. I finally feel very secure in my relationship with Him. I really know that I am totally commited to him and his service. Do I still screw up? Every single day. Am I anywhere near where I want to be in my relationship with him? No. But this journey is only beginning, I want to fall in love with the lover of my soul.
Included in my crappy spring were some pretty dumb choices of mine, including an emotional attachment to a guy who didn't give a crap about me. I won't bother you all with the foolish details, but I got hurt. More hurt than any of my guys whims in the past. I got so angry at guys in general. If he didn't want me, who would? All guys only care about themselves. I'd lost hope that real men exsisted. But it was through the guys at camp this year that God showed me otherwise. My "boss" Troy in the way he treats his wife and kids is like Christ. He's wise, patient, and understanding. He didn't kiss his wife until his wedding. I'd never met a guy willing to make that kind of commitment.
In particular, my friend John, (who is dating my dearest Lauren Elizabeth :) ) really restored my faith in the male gender. He's a total gentleman and he treats Lauren so wonderfully. He is persuing God whole-heartedly and he is my age. I'd never met somebody my age who has that kind of attitude. Guys like Ty, Troy, and John are harder to find...but the fact that they exsist is a wonderful feeling. :)
I really realized this summer how much I love camp. Not just LBBBC, but just the camp atmosphere in general. At this point in my life, I really feel God's leading to work full-time in camp ministry. So that is my plan for next summer. Hopefully, I'll learn as many important things next summer, as I did this summer.

-Em