Oh! 2006

New Years Eve 2006. I can hardly believe it.

I feel like I should make a T-shirt: "I Survived 2006"

Looking back, this was quite the year. It was certainly one of the most difficult years that I can recall. From the time I said "Happy New Year" some 365 days ago conflict and pain seemed to follow me. However, 2006 was also one of the most beautiful years I can recall. It was beautiful in a way that was different from other years. It was beautiful because of the pain. This year I had to search harder than I ever have before to see the beauty, and that in and of itself is beautiful.

2006:

Providence

Hockey

Kindred Spirits

Baseball

Falling

Rejection

Stress

Graduations

Goodbyes

Tour

Niagra Falls

Beautiful One

Testimonies

Friends

Waitressing

Camp Counseling

Broken Skull

ICU

Miraculous

Anxious

Goodbye LBBBC

RAing

Overcommitment

Computer Usage I

The Miracle Worker

Humpty Dumpty Life

Confusion

Risk Taking

Ulcers

Anemia

Hospital Again

Laughter

Amazing Boyfriend

Falling Again

Christmas

Fish & Bird

Confession

The End

What a year! Here' to you 2006, for all the lessons you taught me. And here's to you 2007...and whatever you have in store.

"It's perfect"
The little glass figurine that I held in my hands
A tiny plaque at the bottom read: life
It was finally mine
And it was perfect
So happy that it was mine I clutched the figurine tighter and tighter
"...Maybe I should hold that for you."
"No, God, it's mine. I'm being careful."
I noticed a tiny crack forming on the side
"...Here, I'll fix that."
"No, I'm fine, I promise. It's just a little crack."
It broke!
My perfect glass figurine, gone, shattered
"...I'll put it back together. Give it to me."
"No! It's mine! I can fix this on my own! I can!"
I clutched the broken pieces tighter and tighter and ran
How could it break?
It was so perfect
It was mine...and perfect.
I squeezed the shards so tightly that the pieces dug into my hand
I could fix it
I knew I could
The shards dug deeper and deeper into my hands
No
No
I won't let go!
Blood began to run over my hands
It hurt so badly
I cried out in pain
"...Here, let me help you"
"But I wanted to do it on my own!"
"....I know, I know you did."
I open my hands
Glass shards stuck in one side of my hand and out the other
"...This will hurt."
Slowly, He pulls out a shard
I whince
"Can you fix it?"
"...I can, but this will hurt."

The Weight of Glory

I've always had a love for stars. Everytime I step outside of my door after sunset, my first reaction is to look toward the sky to see if my faithful friends will make an appearence. I love the idea of the black oblivion of night being broken by a the glow of stars. There is something...heavenly about it.

Tonight I stepped outside and, as always, looked to see if any stars were out. Not only was the sky completely empty of stars, the whole sky was covered in the thick shell of clouds. The street lights of my small town illuminated the underside of clouds giving the whole sky a dull pink glow. It was strangly beautiful.

I started thinking about how stars have always given me the idea that there is God who is the all-powerful creator of heaven and of earth. But tonight, when my beloved stars were hidden from my view, it gave me another thought about my Lord. The clouds hid my stars from me, and my humanity hides my God from me. And, I think this is for my own good. I can't imagine what it would be like to see all of God, to know him so fully and completely that I understood the mind of God. How completely and utterly terrifying would that be? The very thought gives me chills. To know the mind of God.

Sometimes, I become to wrapped up in the idea of Jesus being my friend. Being my buddy who I can talk to about anything. I sometimes forget that he is the all-powerful creator. The God who could crush me in an instant.

The weight of his glory is so heavy that I need the clouds of my humanity to cover me, but that doesn't mean I won't see his glow.

Hmmm...

"By then I wasn’t just asking questions; I was being changed by them. I was being changed by my prayers, which dwindled down nearer and nearer to silence, which weren’t confrontations with God but with the difficulty—in my own mind, or in the human lot—of knowing what or how to pray. Lying awake at night, I could feel myself being changed—into what, I had no idea.”

- Jayber Crow, by Wendell Berry

Laugh.

I love to laugh.

In fact, laughing is probably one of all time favorite pastimes. I was thinking about laughter this morning, and about how powerful it is. Laughter is my panecea. Awkward moment? Laugh through it. Pain completely unberable? Laugh about it. I firmly believe that even when everything is falling apart, and when gray skies stretch before me endlessly that there is something to laugh at. Even if that something is me.

Perhaps this explains my addiction to sit-coms. I love that every fight, every joy, and every pain can be made into a joke. That's how I deal with my life: I laugh through it. My dearest friend Bethany shares this life philosophy with me. So...to whomever may read this, laugh. Please
laugh.

"The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter"-Mark Twain

A great, big, long, over due update.

Wow. I've really been neglecting this blog. But fear not world, I am still alive. And here is the long awaited update on the world of Emily.

I'm in the midst of finals week here. 2 down, 2 more to go. My classes all went fairly well semester. I enjoyed some, hated others. The usual. I return to good ol' Roseau Minnesota on Saturday. I can't believe how fast this semester went. Eeeeek.

Being an resident assistant has been absolutely wonderful. I love my dorm. Love my girls. It's had its hard moments to be sure, but it's been really great. I'm really looking forward to next semester and the chance to get to know my girls better. There are a lot of things I still want to do, but God has done more with my dorm than I had ever dreamed.

I'm working hard on memorizing my lines for the play. As I mentioned, I'm Annie Sullivan, the teacher of Helen Keller in "The Miracle Worker." It's going really well. The rehearsals are really long at time, some approach five hours. However, the director and the cast are all amazing people. It's been forever since I've done real theater. And it's going to be grand. If anyone wants to come see it...March 21st-24th. Providence College. Be there.

I'm employed by the yearbook here. I write articles and captions. Yes, that's right, I'm being paid to write. What a beautiful idea. It's a great job. The whole yearbook staff went to Winnipeg for sushi the other night. Nice perks. :D

So first semester has been quite grand. And I'm looking forward to what's in store next semester.

Oh, one last thing. I've found myself a really wonderful guy. His name is Taylor Summach. He's from Saskatoon, Saskatchewan. We been a dating for a month now....and he's...amazing. So, in closing, here is a lovely photo and me and Taylor.




:) -Emily