The Future draws near...

I'm in the mood to do lot's of blogging tonight- so here I am...again.

Over this past week I have realized how fast my life is suddenly moving toward adulthood. I have but one short year left of highschool and will be at college in but 2. I was alwyas in such a hurry to grow up but now I don't want to and I am suddenly powerless to stop it. I feel like I'm standing in the middle of a very narrow hallway and suddenly this huge wall of water comes surging toward me, I turn around and see this wall approaching me, then I stretch my body out in an effort to stop this wall of water, suddenly the water hits me. I manage to block it for a couple of seconds then in one giant gush the water washes me away and as hard as I try to swim against it the water pulls me down the hall in whatever direction it pleases. That's how I feel at the moment.

This week my mother abruptly announced to me that I can date if I want. *shocked face* She had originally told me that when I was 18 I could and I have these past years abided by this rule. But now, just 2 weeks shy of my 17th birthday, I am able to date. The thought of having the beau to call my own "someday" is now anyday I choose, tomorrow if I please. A thought that both frightens me and excites me.

College draws closer and closer every day. I gag at the thought of applying for scholarships for the free money I so desprately need. This year will be my final everything of highschool- final one act play, final mssion trip, final year of youth group, final year of speech team, final year of classes. It all seems so sad..do I have any regrets of how I have spent these past years of higher education? Of course. I'd be lying if I said I didn't. There are things I would have done differently, ppl I wouldn't have spent as much time with, words I wouldn't have said, words I would have said. And so with these thoughts crowding my mind with heavy mental fog- I close this entry.

-Emily