I'm a freak. It's not a shock to me, but still today I felt like even more a freak than I already am. Why must I be so different? I know living my life for Christ is the best thing...but why am I the only one who seems to think so?
I'm just so tired of the freak show. I'm a Jesus Freak even to the other Christians I know. My reputation as a goody-goody is spread far and wide on my high school campus. I think even the new sevies know I'm a goody-goody. I want to be known as wild and crazy. But I fear I'm a the 17 year old equivelant of Richard Cunningham. And what exactly is so grand about being different? This road of "higher calling" will result in what?
The Christians who live my brand of faith and lifestyle I can count on one hand. Somebody posed a question to me the other day that has been troubling my thoughts over the last couple days "What's so special about being a 17, never-been-kissed, never-had-a-boyfriend, never-even-been-on-a-date virgin?" What is so great about it? I think a lot about the day when I shall have guy to call my "significant other" but do guys really even care that you "saved yourself for them"?
My chats with my "christian" guy friends have resulted in comments from them such as " Why don't you kiss somebody?, I'm just trying to break you in?" *sigh* Is this all manhood is? Guys who really only care about one thing? Even the Christian ones?
Why live so extreme when there is no upside?
-Emily
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Emily-
Please be patient. God isn't finished with you yet. "He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it." I am 31 years old (almost 32) and am to this day, a "never been kissed" "never even had a boyfriend" virgin. I have felt many of the things you do about why wait and what is the big deal. But my friend it is a very big deal, and the really great guys out there do care about your purity, they just aren't going to admit it to their buds. They want to appear wild and crazy even if they are goody-goodies too. I just recenlty met a guy who is 28 and still a virgin himself. I pray that God won't make you wait as long as me, but I just wanted to encourage you not to give up on God's plan for your life. Remember the disaster when Abraham didn't wait for Isaac -- he went to a handmaid and had Ishmael, and there has been trouble in the Mideast ever since. Be patient, God will not forsake you and the desires of your heart. Give your heart, soul, mind and strength to God, and I promise, life will be worth it! Stay strong!
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