The Easy Choice or the Right Choice?

The end of another year is approaching, and the relative "unknowness" of 2006 looms in the future. I was at my Grandparent's house the last few days, and because they live in the middle of absolute nowhere I had the chance to catch up on some of my reading. For some reason, I felt compelled to read a book I've had for a couple of years but hadn't read through in a long while. It's another one those Christian purity books. And I don't mean that in a flippant way, I think purity of mind and body is an important issue for young Christians and our generation.

As I read though it, I was struck with a harsh reality. Many of the bad decisions that the book warned against, I've made. So many of the promises I made to myself have fallen by the wayside. This year is not one that I will look back on and think, "gee, I made a lot of wise, godly decisions this year." And oh, how I regret it. I made the easy choices.

For me, the foolish decisions always seem to be the easy ones. The ones where I don't think. It's easy to do the wrong thing, it's hard to do the right thing. It always seems that way, why can't the right choice be easy for me? The closer I look at the year 2005, I'm almost glad I made some easy choices. Don't misunderstand me, I really really wish I had done the right thing. But now that I have made some easy choices, I feel like I have a better understanding of what sin is.

All too often, I feel, in Christian circles we portray sin and obvious, and easy to spot. But the truth of it that sin is sometimes disguised. It wears a pretty mask. Sin rarely seems wrong to us. And this year, I was too niave of a Christian to see that. This didn't look like sin. But now that I've seen sin, fallen into it, and faced it's consequences, I know what it looks like, and I refuse to be decived by it again. I don't want to make the easy choices.

Friends

Since the vast majority of people who read this blog are friends from my non-college life. I thought I should introduce you all to some of the people who make my college life the greatest thing since sliced bread. And I get to show how great everyone looks in their fancy clothes. :)

Left to Right: Joanie, Bethany, Me, & Christina
All of these girls rock. All of them are crazy fun and funny. Bethany and I are alike in so many ways it's almost scary. But good scary.



Left to Right: Zach, Dan, Graham, and Clint.
These are 4 of the coolest guys I know. These fellows have charisma, humor, and gentlemanly skills. And I'm sure there are four very lucky young women out there for these guys.









Jaunita and Matt. Jaunita is my friend/RA. She's the so enthusiatic and happy all the time. She has more self-confidence than anyone I have ever met. Matt is, like me, a Communications major. He's a nice guy and super talented at communication stuff. I have made it my academic goal to give Matt a challenge. A high persuit, I know. :P



This is a picture of another Matt and Lisa...oh, and Matt's banquet date, Reese Witherspoon. Lisa is my next door neighbor here in dorm. She has a great laugh, and sings like an angel. We already decided to be roomates next year. Matt is fun fellow. And quite possible the tallest, thinnest man I have ever met. I can't think of a single person on this campus who doesn't think Matt one of the coolest people alive.


So, those are just some of my friends/Favorite people here at Providence. But now, finals week is upon me, and I fear falling behind. Blessings!

-Em

The Want

When I want something, I want it. But if I have never experienced it I'm okay with not having that thing. But when I get a tiny taste of thing that I want, suddenly I want that thing 1,000 times more than I ever did in the first place. Does anyone else ever feel that way?

-Em

Thy will be done...

Thy will be done. Thy will be done. Thy will be done? This phrase has been weighing on my heart quite often lately. To put it simply, the day I gave control of my life over to God was I day I died. There was no more Emily. Or, at least, there shouldn't be. But for the past month I have become aqutely aware of the fact that there is still an awful lot of Emily left in my life. And I hate it.

Up until I arrived at Providence I never questioned whether I was following God's will. I just assumed that I was doing what God wanted me to do. I thought that I was a good Christian, doing exactly what I supposed to do. But as each day here passes I'm becoming more and more aware of who I want to be, and how far I am from being that person now.

It's now a daily question, Am I living in God's Will for my life? I'm terrified of the idea that I'm not exactly where God wants me to be. I do believe that Providence is where he wants me. Any place that causes me to take an honest look at who I am is a place that I need to be. The question of my major is one that has been weighing on me lately. I love communications, I love my Proffessor, I love my program, and I really think that I would enjoy working in it some day. But I feel like I lack passion. I look at some of the others in my program and they have such talent, passion, and enthusiasm for the communications profession. And I don't.

When I look back on my life thus far, brief as it has been, I clearly remember the times when I felt beyond a doubt that I was following the will of God. And I feel as though God might be calling me to some sort of full-time Christian ministry. Not that any job can't be a ministry, but I mean a full-time ministry careeer. And that terrifies me.

"When the will of God crosses the will of man- somebody has to die."- Addison Leitch

-Em

I wondered Abba Father
Why did you make me?
I don't feel pretty
Not wise
Nothing lovely to see

I wondered O King most high
You who created the highest peaks
The shining stars
The raging, powerful seas
Would create such a thing as me?

I see now, Lover of my soul
You make no mistakes
I am your beautiful creation
Your beloved child
And when I was angry
You still loved me all the while