Echoing Rooms...

Yesterday was, without a doubt, one of the hardest days of my life. After 9 months, of living with, laughing with, and crying with the people here at Prov I said goodbye. We had to return to our "lives", but over the course of 9 months Prov has become my life. People who know me better than anyone lived here. Now my dorm is completely empty, except for me, I wandered in and out of the rooms of my best friends' rooms and I couldn't stand the emptiness. This year holds so many memories, some good, some bad. I feel like I blinked and the year was gone. I never dreamed that a place that I was so scared to come to would become a place that I am terrified to leave. I wonder how well I will fit in when I go back to Roseau, I've changed in so many ways..what if I don't fit into my old life again? What if nothing back home has changed, but I have? Or even more frightening, what if everything at home has changed, and I don't fit in with those changes anymore? What if I can't pick up where I left off?

Ontario, Europe, Nova Scotia, Alberta, British Colombia, Taiwan, New Brunswick, and Quebec, thosands of miles now seperate me and some of my favorite people. I said goodbye to Bethany, a girl who is my kindred spirit. I said goodbye to Cassy, a person that I hope to be like someday. I said goodbye to my RA, Jaunita, who made coming to Providence less scary. I said goodbye to Cassia, my roomate, a woman who I shared my room and my life with for the last year. I said goodbye to Zach and Dan, who are 2 of the most amazing men I know. I said "see you later" to a guy that I deeply didn't want to say goodbye to, but I knew it was the best thing for the both of us. I said goodbye to Sarah, a girl who told me everyday that I was beautiful. I said goodbye to Matt, a guy who helped to restore my faith in a lot of things. I said goodbye to Lisa, a woman who loves Jesus with all she is. I feel like a big chunk of me is missing. I love these people. In some ways it makes me wonder if all of life is a series of goodbyes, old friends leave, new people come. I know beyond a doubt that God is more faithful than I can even grasp. He will provide for me, for my friends, and for our futures together and seperate. But it doesn't make those goodbye moments any easier.

"There are far better things ahead, than any we leave behind." -C.S. Lewis