It's 9:00 now. It's my last night here in Roseau before I return to my dear Providence. Tomorrow, with my parent's car filled to the brim I will make the hour and forty-five minute drive back to Otterburne, Manitoba to begin my sophomore year. I'm a sophomore in college. Wow, I still feel so young.
I've been looking so forward to going back. My head and heart are so often still at Prov, but my body is here. This summer was, without a doubt, challenging. So much of this summer was in a weird holding pattern, like these last four months were just a break in my life. Somehow Prov has become my life. I wanted so badly to be back in that atmosphere. But tonight as I was putting stuff in my car, washing bed sheets, and counting pairs of socks I was filled with an undeniable...sadness.
My mom always tells me that I don't handle change well. I suppose that's true. Transition has a way of making me a bit quesy in my stomach. I like having a nice, concrete, quietly predictable life. Perhaps that is where faith is most prominant in my life. In the unknown. In a future that I can't plan and journey I can't prepare myself for. To be able to say, okay, God, I have no idea what's going on, but I trust you. Faith in a Higher Power who wants what is best for me, even when my life seems to be written in pencil. Faith even when I feel like I wasted this summer away. And faith that despite everything I should have done this summer, and everything that should have happened, God was at work.
"There are far better things ahead than any we leave behind."-C.S. Lewis
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
Em~
Hey, I'll be praying for you this year, you're a very awesome person. It was cool to do our study together this year, I feel blessed to have been a part of it. Oh, and I really love that CS Lewis quote in your post. I saw it in your msn name and it really reassured me those last *nervewracking* days before I left for college!
I hope all is going well with you, Emily. I'm liking Northwestern so far, but I still miss you. I think I'll call you sometime this week...I don't know when.
Anyway...
YAY! College!
Have a great time!
Mmmm Change. These are times of transition! Emily I am really excited for you this fall! I know that you are going to do an awesome job RAing! God has great better things ahead that is for sure! Seek Him! I am praying for you! Love Juanita
Post a Comment